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From Passive To Assertive – Book
From Passive To Assertive
Learn how to say ‘no’, set healthy boundaries, and stand up for yourself!
Do you find it difficult to express your feelings, thoughts and beliefs openly, even when someone disagrees with your point of view? Do you say ‘no’ to a friend, colleague, family member, or supervisor without feeling guilty or anxious? Do you stand up to someone who is mistreating you? Do you choose the destination when you go out with friends? Do you let people take advantage of you for saying ‘yes’ to everything? Do you wish others could be as nice as you are and look out for your best interests? Do you say, “I’m sorry” more than you should? – If this sounds like you, then you need to be more assertive!
Increasing assertiveness can be life-changing if you are shy, passive, or have a tendency to please others. This book is about assertiveness and its value in all aspects of our lives, especially our relationships. Life itself doesn’t have to be difficult, but the people in your life can make it more difficult than it needs to be. If you want an easy life, you can’t be too submissive at one end of the scale or too dominant at the other; you need a good, balanced, healthy level of assertiveness.
Being assertive can help you in the following ways:
- Be able to communicate confidently:
- Have more self-confidence and self-esteem:
- Gain a sense of empowerment
- Have the ability to overcome negative thoughts
- How you listen and interpret messages from others
- Better at goal setting
- Be a more authentic self
- Become more likable
- Earn respect from others
- Create honest relationships
- Less anxiety and depression
- Gain more job satisfaction
- Understand and recognise your feelings
While assertiveness may not come naturally to us, it is a skill that can be learned and mastered. The journey to assertiveness need not be daunting. This book is a straightforward and accessible guide, offering a simple five-step effective technique that can be applied to any situation. It includes exercises and real-life examples to help you on your path to assertiveness.
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This book was an incredible support in my journey to assertiveness, allowing me to begin practicing assertive behaviour in a safe way, during day to day activities, and managing healthy boundaries in my life. The activities that Corinne has created are effective as they are easy to implement and also help in identifying behaviours and barriers preventing you from becoming assertive.
“From Passive to Assertive” is an incredibly user-friendly book that is easy to read and understand. It outlines the 5 steps of assertiveness in a straightforward manner, emphasising the importance of practice to effectively implement the formula.
I initially struggled with applying the formula, as evidenced when I told my boss that working full-time wasn’t suitable for me. I suggested working three full days but then reverted to my people-pleasing tendencies, agreeing to five days of reduced hours instead. My husband pointed out the impracticality of my decision, prompting me to realise that I was just people pleasing and putting myself last yet again.
The following day, I told my boss that I wasn’t happy with the five-day plan and reiterated my preference for three full days. By the afternoon, I received a new contract reflecting my desired schedule. This experience highlighted the book’s valuable lessons on assertiveness and the importance of standing up for oneself.
Thank you so much, Corinne, for writing this book. Your clear guidance and practical steps have empowered me to communicate my needs more effectively and prioritise my well-being. Your work is truly appreciated!
Do you ever feel like your voice gets lost in the crowd? Or find yourself agreeing to things you don’t want to do, just to keep the peace? If so, this book on assertiveness might be exactly what you need.
As a leader, consultant, and coach, I’ve seen firsthand how a lack of assertiveness can hold people back—not just in their careers but in every aspect of their lives. This book speaks directly to those of us who sometimes struggle to express our thoughts and beliefs openly, particularly when it might rock the boat.
Psychologist Corinne Coe, brilliantly breaks down the value of assertiveness in a way that’s easy to digest and incredibly practical. It’s not about swinging from one extreme to the other—from passive to aggressive—but about finding that balanced, healthy middle ground where your voice is heard, and your boundaries are respected. And let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want that?
I found the book’s approach refreshing because it doesn’t just explain why assertiveness is important; it shows you how to achieve it. The five-step technique outlined is simple yet powerful. It’s the kind of strategy that can be applied in both personal and professional settings, making it versatile for anyone looking to strengthen their communication skills. Whether you’re leading a team or simply trying to navigate your personal relationships, these tools can be transformative.
In my work, I emphasise the importance of emotional intelligence as a cornerstone of effective leadership, and this book aligns to that philosophy. Assertiveness isn’t just about standing your ground; it’s about sharpening your emotional intelligence—understanding your own emotions, recognising those of others, and using this awareness to manage interactions with empathy and clarity. The book guides you on how to be assertive without being abrasive, allowing you to communicate with confidence while still valuing the emotions and perspectives of those around you.
One of the key takeaways for me was how assertiveness aligns with the work I do in helping people develop a strong leadership presence. The ability to communicate confidently, set goals effectively, and earn respect from others—these are critical components of successful leadership, and they’re all tied to assertiveness. Additionally, by honing your emotional intelligence through assertiveness, you become better equipped to navigate the complexities of human interactions, fostering trust and respect in all your relationships.
This book is more than just a guide; it’s a call to action. It challenges you to step out of your comfort zone, to stop saying “yes” when you mean “no,” and to start prioritising your own needs and desires alongside those of others. It’s about becoming more empowered in your interactions and more authentic in your relationships.
If you’re someone who wants to level up your communication in high stakes situations – I highly recommend giving this book a read.